So which one are you going to chase today?

We are going to get them,
each one of them,
the crazy ones,
the weird ones,
the normal ones,
the wild ones,
the sweet ones,
the mushy ones,
the ones made for us,
the ones not made for us,
the ones which are too down in the list,
and the ones which top it..
Bang, splat, in the head
None of them will be spared.

Dreams.
Ours for the taking.


So which one are you going to chase today?

Reaction

Periodic table, that lousy creation by some twisted isotope, isn’t worth a shit. That’s what I thought, when I was as innocent as inert gases, of that stoopid table. Frankly speaking I still think the same way. Why, then you may ask is periodic table the starting point of this article? Well because it is about chemicals. Hold your horses or to be more apt ponies.



One day almost 6 years ago I was returning home, pretty late at around 9, in a friendly neighborhood DTC bus from my college. There were less people on that bus than there are people on the continent of Antarctica. 1 driver, 1 conductor, 2 drunkards, 1 girl and one timid me. For almost half the amount of time it takes for a bus to reach Delhi to Gurgaon on an empty highway, I discovered how heavy lead is.



These two drunk bastards were saying things that were reason enough for a submersible pump to be installed on them through their hole. Every time they said something I just wanted to go and slap them and every time I felt lead around my legs that just didn’t let me get up and do it. That’s when I realized how heavy lead is.

Nothing more than a few verbal comments happened in the bus, but as soon as the bus reached Gurgaon bus stand, these two morons just crossed the limit and the girl made them realize that with a tight slap.



As I got on the rickshaw and reached my home, a distance of around 15 minutes, I discovered something that stings you more than Hydrogen Sulphide. It’s called cowardice.



I still can’t get over it when I think about it.





Then a few days ago I discovered something that burns you more than Sulphuric Acid. I was at vaastu with Vani, Gaurav and Harita, and I noticed something that I have been noticing for some time but this was at it’s worst form. I saw a family which had a child, who had his care taker (who was a girl child). Now I don’t like this business of employing kids to take care of kids, but what just made me come closer to chemistry was the way these guys treated that girl. After finishing off their dinner, all these son of cock suckers emptied there leftovers in a plate and asked that girl to eat it. I felt like chopping off their balls but knowing they will survive that I didn’t knew what to do.



And guess what? now I know. Next time I see any of these characters, they are going to get money from me. I am gonna get all the change I can find and tell them to take this if they can not afford to buy that girl her dignity. No, am serious. I would do something that will embarrass them out of their slumber.



I am so goddam serious that I am gonna do it next time. I might have lead around my ankles for quite some time but when you have Sodium burning in you veins at the mere thought of what I saw, lead is going to loose it’s weight. Table be damned. Now lead might have finished quite a bit of Roman empire but am gonna trust this burning blood in my veins to finish these morons off. They are going to get Hydro Choloric acid right in their kisser.



Am not kidding.



I never kid at 5 in the morning.

Scripted Crossing

Andy and Lary Wachowski are the one. If you know it, no kudos, you should know it. If you don’t, well, your GK sux and not my pun. Awrite, awrite before these witty opening lines make me forget what I have to write. Let me cut the chase. So, as I was telling you, Andy and Larry were looking for something to do to not have their kids say their names in hushed up tones. Basically, to avoid existentialism angst they wanted to make a film that could win them some award and enough cash to bankroll a Lear jet for each of their family members for another 50 Years. So they came to India and saw people crossing Roads. And the rest as they say are special effects. Okay, rite now the last few lines are more difficult to understand than the movie “The Matrix” itself. But as long as I don’t cross the word limit there is hope. So here it goes. Well, in uninspiring West, people don’t die of hunger, the president’s are mostly idiots and above all Superman respects CIA’s jurisdiction*. Basically, the wards are a tad bit boring. In India, something as mundane and simple as crossing the road is so adventurous that Tom cruise is planning a M.I on it. Now, generally what happens is that you look right, you look left and right again and if no one is coming your way you cross the road. Fair and simple, only if you don’t take into account Biology. Worldwide most of the humans can safely trace their ancestors back to playful chimps. In India, I postulate, there is a dog involved somewhere. Dogs are pathetic with judging speed of things coming their way, with or without the front lights on. So like dogs, they think they can cross the road and then in the middle of the road their brain starts shouting “Iceberg Dead ahead”. Then what? Left, Right, Centre, Run, Walk, Peee, Mommy. What to do? Ahh, Since Darwin says humans are more evolved than any other species that needs to cross the roads. They use hand. Mind you hand and not brains. Yes. The Palm. Just show them the Palm. It’s like God mode in a FPS. They will have to stop. You will not die. Who cares, whether they have to reach from 60-0 in times that won’t register on atomic stopwatch or see their whole life flash by their eyes. Just show them the palm. Just show them the palm. Just show them the palm. That’s what I think a kid like me has to write these days on the blackboard as a punishment. Heck, I think everyone has to write this on the blackboard. Now you remember Neo, Stopping bullets by showing his palm, Now you know the connection. Now it hits you, That’s what Wachowski brothers saw on their trip to India. They used special effects to fill in the rest of movie with was mainly due to pressure from the studios. But the Kodak moment that inspired them to make it was a proud Indian crossing the road. Sure, A biker seeing his speedometer and his tail light at once also inspired them. But, then they sold rights of that script to Tom Cruise. Wouldn’t Mr Hunt look cooler on the bike than Neo? Well, wouldn't he?

*= Why don’t you think then Superman catches Mr. Osama?