The film opens at 4000 rpm.

Simply because below that she has just glanced at you. Your eyes just did a lip-lock for a split second and then it meandered off.
But in that split second she let you know, it is going to be a good, good night.

At 7000 rpm you are not just getting hints, you are getting warnings. Warning for not being an optimist, for thinking nothing is going to happen and forgetting to put a condom in the wallet.

At 9000 rpm. You are done playing mind games. The blood is flowing to the right place and the brain has been asked to shut up and focus on the road.

You are doing 120 by now.

And if you are not smiling, you better see a psychiatrist right now.

This is the Kawasaki Ninja 250.

And boobs are overrated.
Let me explain.
Amit left his bike at my place, complete with the bike cover and the standard set of instructions. And every morning i left i could just see the tread of the rear tyre.
By god that ass.
Now am really not known for grabbing fine looking derrieres, and now am thinking why not. Size zero go die. And while you are at it take the electric cars along.

So on Saturday i decided, protocol be damned, am going to get laid.

The first thing you feel when you thumb the starter, is actually disappointment. It just sounds so, so not worth the 3 lakhs. Heck my pulsar 200 sounded better.

The sitting position is a bit of compromise between the rear-set R15 and chest out Karizma. And true to compromises, it doesn't win your heart.
But then on the upside, your wrists do not scream obscenities at you. And shoulders are so happy they don't turn metrosexual and ask for a massage.
Enough of her not being vocal and not fitting well, ahem, under you.

Because by the time you think whether you should give her a kiss right now or wait for another date, her tongue is already tickling your tonsils.
It is like being so comfortable with someone you can say "let's have sex" instead of the politically correct and more widely used version: "let’s make love".

It is no pornstar like the pulsar 200, mind you. It is no pizza delivery girl who has just got a pizza on her. And a g-string.
No it is not that kind of B-grade cheap porn film.
It is no R15 either, which is basically a soft porn, with a little bit of hardcore action above 10,000 rpm to stop making the viewers throw rotten eggs in disappointment.

It is Insatiable of porn films. Go check that out, and for those of you with a tighter grip on morality, all i can say is that porn film had a Ferrari Dino.

It matches with the R15 in being a girl's girl. You know the lip lock and fumble for the clasp on the bra comes after what seems like a few trips, talks, popcorns and whatever those who get it do what they do, later.
Well that is what the wait till 10,000 rpm in sixth gear feels like.

But, and that is what makes this different from the R15, there is a way to get around this.

And that is to not take it sweetly to high gears and then wait for the lip lock. In every gear just let her know how much you have waited for her and how much you have wanted her. And boy will she reward you.

The first time you will slot the second gear after you hit 9000, you know she is not what she was when you first met her. And before your fingers can even begin their long and arduous fumble with the clasp, she would have slid the straps and pulled the whole goddam thing down, clasps be damned.
And while you stand befuddled and amazed at your luck, she will be trying to get her jeans off, like her bladder was holding thrice the recommended limit and battling with your belt while screaming "Why the fuck do guys wear belts?". Before proceeding to vacuum your tongue.
This in each gear. Till you hit 6th. And 145 kph.
And all this in "what the fuck just happened!" seconds.
Believe me it hits 60 before people realize what hit them.
And it breaks the myth that guys just ogle at girls.
All the school girls who were standing next to the school boys must have hated me.
Freaking awesome.

And it will just put me off friend list of many, if i go describing what all it can do in the corners.
It is not just your wet dreams come true. It is going to make you a very sick and twisted mind.

It is just fantabulous in corners. You are the queen ant while on it. You say what to do and everything falls in order. The short wheelbase, the low slung seat, the knee 3 inches away from the tarmac, makes you think what a kinky man Mr.Edwin Lutyen must have been to design all this playground for you, where now all those old farts stay.

And then there are the brakes. Well, for the sake of explanation let's hope you have ever been caught up by your girlfriend's dad while you were at it with her, otherwise i seriously wish against it, what he did to your erection, is what the brakes do. You just have to think of braking and you are just left standing and staring at the world rushing by you.
Oh you can use the rear brakes, which are like your mum catching you, which gives you a little time and theoretically a milder heart attack, but on the whole the brakes are too strong for my liking.
Panic braking is going to lead to, well, more panic on this one.

So finally it is worth thrice the cost of my or nannu's bike, considering it doesn't offer thrice the power?

Let me explain this in a manner in which many think i generally don't do or don't have the talent to: non-sexually.

See, i have loads of friends, 159 if you ask facebook. And i really like meeting quite a few of them. And while i do the whole "I hate none of you comes to gurgaon to meet me" bit, I do really like the whole let's go there and meet him or her. No, i really love it. I really don't mind chasing cars, dodging trucks and busting egos every evening to be somewhere, with people i love.

Because it satiates my two great loves: meeting friends and riding the bike.
But as generally happens, not everyone has either the energy or the will to meet me or as they like to mask it "time". And while it may seem that is the reason for my anger and frustration, and these days depression. The real reason is that i have still not attuned myself, or fallen in love, with the idea of riding the bike without a purpose, without having a plan, without an occasion and without having someone at the end that i want to meet, being there waiting for me.

With the Ninja, you don't need a plan or an occasion.
It is the someone.
It is the plan.
And most definitely it is the occasion.

And for that alone i think it is worth it.