Girls vs. Optimus Prime.

The biggest myth propagated by anyone is that of a “Lil Girl”, there is no such thing as a little girl. Girls are never born little. They are born with mental capabilities of a well grown and intelligent adult - adult men, because the brains of girls do not grow, which is all right considering they are already born with a well developed brain.

It has its Pros and Cons. Pros being the fact that till the time the guys grow up, which sometimes they never do, you get to control them. Because you are smart. The guys could be more powerful, but what use is that power when you can’t physically subdue girls. Remember you can’t hit girls and who told you that? Your mum, a girl. So, if you are a girl, you get immense benefits at every birthday party. In the school. And in the school bus which takes you to the school.

Because they are smarter and more mature, they tend to outsmart boys and get what whey want. The only trouble they face in school, is not the kiddie boys with underdeveloped brains, but girls who are as intelligent and cunning as them. A boy gets along with 24 guys in a class with 26 boys; a girl is pals with 2 girls in a class of 32 girls. People of same caliber rarely get along.

The education system too is geared to reward the hard working rather than the genius and tremendously gifted and talented, which is not a bad thing, because rarely do lil boys with intelligence come along. No wonder then, though Vineet Paliwal was the smartest guy on planet Gurgaon, Bhanu Chawla topped the class. Even she knew he was the brightest thing in Gurgaon. They could put his brain in the jar and that would produce enough energy to power Gurgaon and South Delhi. If you switched off the ACs, maybe West Delhi too. But he never topped the class. No one now in my school will know of a certain Vineet Paliwal, while Bhanu Chawla’s name will be on some board honouring the toppers. But then those who studied with him will never forget that he had 9th rank in IIT-JEE. Even Bhanu Chawla won’t be able to forget that.


Let’s admit it then most of the “lil” girls are bright and more intelligent then lil boys. Fair enough.

But then is it really a virtue to be intelligent and brainy all the time? Now, if you were a pre-human, without fangs and claws and teeth that could rip out the living daylights out of anything, the intelligent thing to do would be to pussyfoot around the cave, gather food, come back home, eat food, have sex, produce kids, go to bed and hope you will live another day. But no, some idiot guy, acting like a lil kid, went ahead one day with his friends, killed a saber tooth, did hi-fives with his pals and returned home to be told by his wife “WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT DID YOU DO YOU DIMWIT, DO YOU REALISE HOW MANY OF THEM TIGERS ARE OUT THERE. NOW, WE’RE ALL DOOMED.”
Trust us lil kids to do something incredibly stupid, chase incredibly ridiculous ideas and end up retarding the growth of humankind on the whole.

Which brings me to Transformers. 1 or 2 does not matter. Go for it if you sometime jump in a puddle to splash your friends, drive like a maniac, make a fool out of yourself at the restaurants and more often not are told to grow up. Don’t go if you’re married or have a girlfriend who tells you to grow up more often than she tells you that she has a headache. No wonder then the girlfriend of the guy sitting next to me could not understand what the brouhaha was all about. She couldn’t understand why her boy was drooling at some truck called Optimus Prime. Or a butch looking car called bumble-bee. It would have been still process-able by her brain if he would have had made more noises on seeing the boobs of the girl with bigger-tattoo-than-boobs but no, he was gleefully jumping at watching a truck called Prime get jet engines. This did not make sense to her. It never will. Therein lies the charm.

Two more sequels and either the guy will break up with her and she will regale her girl friends by telling them stories of him being such a weirdo or the poor boy will tell horror stories of her to his friends after watching Optimus Prime kick some more ass and then call her up to tell the meeting went just fine. Either which ways he will keep making noises while watching Optimus Prime roundhouse kick a Decepticon.