What if?

It jut hit me. No not the fan. The thought that what if i die without ever laying my foot on the accelerator of a Ferrari and my palms on the flappy paddles and the steering? What if i can't power slide on the road next to Lotus Temple? What if i never high slide a Ducati? What if i never go to Laguna Seca to screw the cork screw? What if it all remains in my head as things that i would have loved to do but was never able to? What if all this is a wild goose chase? What if in the end it is just me and family in a family hatch back? What if that hatch back does not have a rear wheel drive? And a million bhps and a quarter million Nm of torque? What if the hatch back never goes fast enough to activate its airbags? What if i get to be with the girl i love and not with the girl i have always craved for? What if it is all making love and no fuck? What if i won't be able to drown these what ifs in the growl of a Termignoni? What if i end up in a box without ever being in a Recaro? What if they save the planet but fail to save me?

What then?

Then i will be glad am as evil as i am. As arrogant as i am. As painful as i am. Most definitely as blasphemous as i am. And as idiotic as i am.

Because am sure i won't achieve Nirvana in this birth. That leads to being born again. 8.4 million times, if my mother is to be believed. And then 8.4 million plus one time i will be back. Clinging to my belief in a 4 point harness, ready for this quest of taking a hard left.

That's that then.